{"id":9504,"date":"2025-12-31T14:58:15","date_gmt":"2025-12-31T14:58:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=9504"},"modified":"2025-12-31T14:58:15","modified_gmt":"2025-12-31T14:58:15","slug":"every-little-cramp-or-pain-sends-me-into-a-panic-attack-woman-shares-candid-reality-of-rainbow-baby-pregnancy-after-child-loss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=9504","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Every little cramp or pain sends me into a panic attack.\u2019: Woman shares candid reality of rainbow baby pregnancy after child loss"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cWhat pregnancy number is this?<\/p>\n

5.<\/p>\n

And how many living children?<\/p>\n

1.<\/p>\n

I tell people I\u2019m carrying a rainbow, but many don\u2019t exactly understand what that means \u2013 and I want to talk about it.<\/p>\n

Here are some things you should know:<\/p>\n

This baby is not a \u2018replacement baby\u2019 for the babies I\u2019ve lost.<\/p>\n

Carrying a rainbow baby is absolutely terrifying.<\/p>\n

It means when I found out I was pregnant my initial reaction was tears of fear, not joy.<\/p>\n

It means ultrasounds give me PTSD; laying on that bed gives me horrid flashbacks, and I cry when they turn on the Doppler ultrasound to see blood flow to the baby because I remember that\u2019s how they determined last time that my baby was no longer alive and part of me always thinks it\u2019s happened again.<\/p>\n

It means EVERY LITTLE CRAMP OR PAIN sends me into a panic attack because I think I\u2019m miscarrying.<\/p>\n

It means SO MANY TEARS.<\/p>\n

It means having this pit of sadness every holiday knowing my 3 angel babies aren\u2019t here to celebrate with us.<\/p>\n

It means holidays are for visiting your stone.<\/p>\n

It means that just because I saw two lines that it doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019ll be adding onto the family.<\/p>\n

It means in 9 months I could have another child or in a few weeks or months, I can be planning another burial.<\/p>\n

It means keeping EVERY RECEIPT of everything I buy baby because I don\u2019t actually know that what I buy will ever be used.<\/p>\n

It means I\u2019m too scared to plan a baby shower because that means having high hopes and I know what it\u2019s like to have your hopes and dreams shattered.<\/p>\n

It means it took me until the third trimester to even really start preparing for this baby.<\/p>\n

It means just because society thinks you\u2019re out of the \u2018safe zone\u2019 of miscarrying, you know you never really are.<\/p>\n

It means having triggers that no one understands or realizes and that little comments or the way people say things CAN REALLY HURT.<\/p>\n

It means constant anxiety and overthinking.<\/p>\n

This post is to all the mamas carrying rainbows, who have rainbows, or who are awaiting their rainbow, because we may walk around with our head up high, but I know the worry and fear you carry and I see you.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m here for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cWhat pregnancy number is this? 5. And how many living children? 1. I tell people I\u2019m carrying a rainbow, but many don\u2019t exactly understand what<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9505,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9504","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9504","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9504"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9504\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9506,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9504\/revisions\/9506"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9505"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9504"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9504"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9504"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}