{"id":9460,"date":"2025-12-30T15:24:58","date_gmt":"2025-12-30T15:24:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=9460"},"modified":"2025-12-30T15:24:58","modified_gmt":"2025-12-30T15:24:58","slug":"let-me-know-if-you-need-anything-but-a-new-mom-never-will-womans-candid-advice-on-how-to-help-a-new-mom-so-they-dont-shoulder-it-alone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=9460","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Let me know if you need anything.\u2019 But a new mom never will.\u2019: Woman\u2019s candid advice on how to help a new mom so they don\u2019t \u2018shoulder it alone\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cForty weeks is how long you carry a child, but many women wait much longer than that to have their biggest dream\u2014birthing a baby\u2014come true.<\/p>\n

Long before we thought about budding careers, mortgages or marriage, we were carrying around baby dolls and stuffing our shirts to make fake bumps.<\/p>\n

So by the time your child is born, you\u2019ve not only given life to a human, but to a dream too. You\u2019ve also painted nurseries and attended showers. Prewashed clothes and packed an overnight bag. You\u2019ve prepared your mind, home, and heart to grow tenfold, and then with a few (or many) pushes, out pops your greatest gift in the flesh.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re overjoyed.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

But then, a few days or weeks later, you may find yourself overwhelmed too.<\/p>\n

In comes the fourth trimester, the part of parenthood the books barely mention. I know this because I\u2019m not only a mother of two (and former shirt-stuffing dreamer), but I\u2019m also a Labor and Delivery Nurse.<\/p>\n

During nursing school, we spent a significant amount of time focusing on breathing techniques and breastfeeding, but little education was allotted to what happens when the hormones start going haywire and you\u2019re home alone with a crying infant.<\/p>\n

No one prepares you for the reality of sleeplessness nights and isolated days.<\/p>\n

No one tells you that you can be filled to the brim with love for your child, and yet desperately want to break away.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a lot of talk about how \u2018hard\u2019 things are, but where\u2019s the dialogue about the depression, and the shame for feeling like the happiest time of your life is falling incredibly short?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The truth is, the afterbirth of new motherhood is equally as hard as birth itself\u2014perhaps more so since it lasts longer. For the first few months, you will use your body and your mind entirely for another human, and you\u2019ll do so on very little sleep. You\u2019ll fear to leave the house because of feeding times and flu season. You\u2019ll scroll through social media and see people having fun while you\u2019re sore and overly spent. You\u2019ll love this little human so much it hurts, but long for free time to do more than just shower.<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the fabulous news about new motherhood: it doesn\u2019t last forever.<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t meant to sugarcoat the hardships, but rather to inspire hope. One day you\u2019ll wake up before they do. One day you\u2019ll be feeding them, and they\u2019ll lock eyes with you and smile. There will come a moment when your body stops bleeding and your hormones have leveled. You\u2019ll start to feel more confident in leaving the house and reenter the world again.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The point is, we get our footing eventually. But it takes time, and patience, and sometimes medication.<\/p>\n

It also, as they say, takes a village.<\/p>\n

If you know someone who\u2019s recently had a baby, here\u2019s the number one thing you can do for her: offer help.<\/p>\n

And if you are someone who\u2019s recently had that baby, I\u2019m begging you to do one, and only one, thing: accept it.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s where we go wrong in supporting new mothers: we state, with great intent, \u2018let me know if you need anything.\u2019 But a new mom never will.<\/p>\n

Women are conditioned to do it all and do it all well. Asking for help isn\u2019t in our DNA any more so than men stopping for directions when lost. So, when we\u2019re lost in new motherhood, drowning in peri-pads and postpartum depression, we feel the need to shoulder it alone. And we must stop.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

So, friends. Here\u2019s a few things to just DO for a new mother (especially when she says she\u2019s fine):<\/p>\n

Bring a meal, but don\u2019t go in.<\/p>\n

They just had a baby, they need food. They don\u2019t need to put on a bra, clean the house, or entertain. A \u2018Sip and See\u2019 can be arranged to meet the baby when the mother is ready, until then you can see all their cuteness on social media. Drop your food on the front porch and go.<\/p>\n

Take the older sibling for a few hours.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s not much family and friends can do with a newborn, likely they\u2019re glued to their mother\u2019s hip\/breast. But those older siblings? They\u2019re free for the taking! Don\u2019t ask, just do. Schedule a park playdate and tell that new mama you\u2019ll be over in an hour to pick their kid up. They won\u2019t refuse when plans are already made.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Bring the fun indoors<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let her scroll through social media and feel bad about missing a Girls\u2019 Night Out. Arrange a Bachelor watching party at your home. Make a cheese board and play cards. Order take-out and eat it in your PJs. Give her a comfortable place to come to with her newborn, and also a plan that\u2019s unphased if she needs to cancel. We were women before babies, and we\u2019ll be women after. Make her feel like one for a makeup-free evening indoors.<\/p>\n

Gift her with self-care instead of a baby item<\/p>\n

No one needs another onesie or burp cloth. Give her a gift certificate to get her hair done or for a housecleaning service. Cute bows and bibs are nice, but what\u2019s needed is help with the daily duties. Remember she won\u2019t ask, so just do.<\/p>\n

And to the new moms, of course there\u2019s a big part you play in this as well: just say yes.<\/p>\n

No one gets a gold star for doing it alone. We birth our babies with support by our side, and we need it even more so when we go home.<\/p>\n

Motherhood is meant to be a team sport. So as you\u2019re giving yourself grace in your new role, and sneaking in some cat naps, remember it\u2019s just a small fraction of your life when your child\u2014and yourself\u2014are on the receiving end of extra care.<\/p>\n

Pretty soon, you\u2019ll be restored enough to pay it forward.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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