{"id":435,"date":"2025-10-02T14:46:21","date_gmt":"2025-10-02T14:46:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=435"},"modified":"2025-10-02T14:46:21","modified_gmt":"2025-10-02T14:46:21","slug":"lets-get-married-now-this-weekend-her-response-killed-me-no-you-dont-have-to-do-this-husbands-young-wife-dies-of-cancer-she-gives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=435","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Let\u2019s get married now, this weekend.\u2019 Her response killed me. \u2018No, you don\u2019t have to do this.\u2019: Husband\u2019s young wife dies of cancer, she gives him \u2018gift\u2019 of second wife, \u2018There wasn\u2019t an ounce of jealousy from this woman\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201c\u2018I love you, and I promise to learn to love whoever you choose after me, from wherever I am.\u2019 Those were words I never thought I\u2019d hear, and honestly words I never wanted to hear. But those words were a gift.<\/p>\n

Ten short months earlier it was decided. Melissa and I were getting married. We\u2019d done the whole falling in love, breaking up, and getting back together bit and I became convincing enough that we now agreed, we were supposed to be together.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Forever was the plan, it always had been but that came into question one Monday night at Outback Steakhouse. We had gone there to meet my uncle and cousins. He was also a doctor and when I mentioned some symptoms Melissa had shown he said it would be a good idea to take a look at her back at the house. That next moment is one I\u2019ll never forget. After a quick review, his experience with many terminal and catastrophic illnesses kicked in, and before he could say anything, I knew something wasn\u2019t right.<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t want to over assume here, but I have to be straight,\u2019 he said as time slowed and everything got fuzzy around me. I could hear the clock tick, and feel the emotion starting in my stomach, surging up and becoming a single drop that would fall from my eye as he said those words.<\/p>\n

\u2018It appears she has one of three things, cancer, cancer or cancer.\u2019 My optimistic 22-year-old mind seemed to have been smashed to bits by a 2\u00d74 as I turned to look in her eyes. She tried to hide her welling eyes with a smile. That moment the unknown became our every moment.<\/p>\n

Chemo was the recommended option, but chemo hair or the lack of it and a wedding didn\u2019t go too well together in her mind. We had a decision to make. \u2018Let\u2019s get married now, this weekend. I can make it happen.\u2019<\/p>\n

Her response killed me. \u2018No, Matt you don\u2019t have to do this.\u2019 \u2018The doctors have said the chemo will probably mean I won\u2019t ever be able to have kids, and I know how bad you want to be a dad. Don\u2019t do this.\u2019 Once again, the reality of that word cancer hit, and its impact seemed to be tearing not just Melissa\u2019s body apart, but now our planned future.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u2018NO!\u2019 I said, \u2018A few weeks ago when I prayed and felt an overwhelming blanket of peace, I knew I was supposed to marry you and that\u2019s what I\u2019m going to do, regardless of how much hair you have.\u2019 And at that moment, we melted into each other and committed to whatever this journey was, we were going to take it together.<\/p>\n

Somehow with the help of my wonderful sister and a good friend I planned the wedding for two days later. Miracles happened and family would arrive, photographers would be available and all would work if she could find a dress. Amazingly there was a bridal fair at the local high school.<\/p>\n

She had been looking for a dress since we became engaged two months earlier, but nothing quite fit this momentous day. As she walked the show floor, each future bride had their wedding day on a name tag they wore. Melissa\u2019s said \u2018TODAY.\u2019 Some were confused, some asked, and as they heard her story, a kindness welled up to meet the chaos of our day. One girl offered to do her makeup there at the show for free, another, would do the same for her hair but still, she needed a dress.<\/p>\n

Moments later, with her Mom beside her, Melissa\u2019s eyes lit up. She had found her perfect dress. As she recounted her tale, the dress shop girl said, \u2018I only have this one here, but if you\u2019d like to try it on we can see what the right size would be and if we\u2019d have something that would work at the shop.\u2019 But this gown, like Cinderella\u2019s, would need no alteration. In fact, it fit perfectly in every way, as if angels had sewn each stitch knowing this girl deserved a little help from heaven.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Later that evening, we were sealed together in a tear-filled ceremony hoping we could hold that kiss forever.<\/p>\n

With rings exchanged and one night at the hotel, our honeymoon would involve needles, drugs and a lot of doctors.<\/p>\n

Love is a powerful thing, but it\u2019s very different than fear.\u00a0Love embraces whatever it encounters.\u00a0It appreciates and cherishes all of what is right in front of it.\u00a0Fear seeks to control, to manipulate, and rather than simply embrace, it clings.\u00a0Melissa from the moment I met her had in her the gift of love.\u00a0She knew there was something to that phrase, \u2018if you love it, let it go.\u2019 She was willing to do that with me, and she would do that with every moment.\u00a0Cherish it, appreciate it, then let it go and live right into the next moment looking for the joy, the humor, and the hope.\u00a0Melissa would then let that moment go, and do it all over again.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Looking back it was only a few months, but those months held a lifetime of learning, emotion, joy, and pain, and so 10 months after our wedding day, we somehow found each other on the couch facing the reality of what the next few days would bring \u2013 and that was when she gave me the gift.<\/p>\n

\u2018I love you, and I promise to learn to love whoever you choose after me.\u2019<\/p>\n

Letting go of certainty and control is never easy but Melissa knew I\u2019d never grow into the man she would hope me to become without another woman to chisel away the rough edges.<\/p>\n

As I lay next to her frail and dying body a few days later, I was overwhelmed by that last moment together.\u00a0So many questions\u2026<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

What now? Why this? What am I supposed to learn from all this?<\/p>\n

As I moved forward alone, life progressed slowly. I fell asleep often on the couch with the distraction and noise of a movie hopefully muffling my longing heart. In time the sharp stabbing pain of her loss turned into a dull sorrow and was sufficiently bearable to resume life.<\/p>\n

And so I did what you must do in these stories. I got up, thinking of what I learned from it all and recognizing we never know how many moments we have.<\/p>\n

Gradually the time came when that gift Melissa had given me would start to make sense.<\/p>\n

I had dated and dumped and been dumped, again knowing ultimately, I was guarding this heart from getting hurt once more. Then the time came when it was right for me to open up a little and see what was possible.<\/p>\n

As I stood in the hotel room I was now living in for a job in the concrete industry, I was doing my best to make her smile. Her name was Molly, she had sparkling eyes and sun-kissed freckled cheeks that shined when she smiled. As we danced and I joked, I breathed her laugh and the comfortable way she seemed to be okay with me just being me.<\/p>\n

Even with pictures of Melissa all over my wall that night, Molly knew her place with me was still possible. And then with another moment of laughter, it was as if I could hear Melissa\u2019s laugh as well. It was as if these two were laughing together. It caught me off guard and I realized, maybe this was the one she was referring to.<\/p>\n

That night I shared with Molly the full story of my first love. I cried a little and was amazed there wasn\u2019t an ounce of jealousy or concern from this woman. She knew my first love had helped craft me into the man she held there that night. In her confidence, I knew that I had found a way to love again.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Loving someone enough to let them go was critical to my relationship with Melissa. She needed to be free to move on, as did I. What I have come to realize, is the same is true in every moment and with every relationship. In our desire to belong, we lock arms, exchange rings and cling to another.<\/p>\n

And yet, I find it is the willingness to let those we love go, that is the greatest gift we can give. We always love those that let us go. Their valuing of our freedom seems to acknowledge a deep sense of who we are in our strength as an individual. Somehow that freedom leaves us with choice and a fondness that leads back to them. Letting go allows the past to be in the past and ultimately letting go gifts our partners the choice to be with us in as many moments as they choose.<\/p>\n

My first wife gave me a gift\u2026 My second wife.<\/p>\n

Today, Molly and I have spent the last 17 years choosing each other. We have three amazing boys and do our best to let go of each other and our minutes of frustration, to choose once again one more moment together.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

We recently let go of normalcy, bought an RV and traveled around the country for 2.5 years. That freedom allowed us to take our boys to see the amazing beauty this country has. We\u2019ve learned it\u2019s easy to be attached, but freedom creates so much more. As we reflect on all the moments we have, we see each as a gift from another who I once had to let go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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