{"id":4255,"date":"2025-11-12T14:58:32","date_gmt":"2025-11-12T14:58:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=4255"},"modified":"2025-11-12T14:58:32","modified_gmt":"2025-11-12T14:58:32","slug":"his-arm-was-twisted-and-his-once-rosy-red-lips-were-white-as-snow-i-stumbled-through-my-statement-while-nursing-my-son-young-widow-finds-love-after-loss-hopes-her-son-knows-how","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=4255","title":{"rendered":"\u2018His arm was twisted and his once rosy red lips were white as snow. I stumbled through my statement while nursing my son.\u2019: Young widow finds love after loss, hopes her son knows how \u2018truly loved\u2019 he is by \u2018both his dads\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cFive years ago, my husband Justin and I were waist deep in OB-GYN appointments, baby books, baby names, and nursery colors. \u2018I don\u2019t like the typical blue,\u2019 he said. \u2018Let\u2019s go less traditional.\u2019 \u2018How about lime green and black?,\u2019 I suggested. Picking nursery colors might not be a big deal to a guy, but to an expecting mother, it\u2019s crucial. \u2018Sure, that sounds cool,\u2019 he responded, and with that, we began designing our baby\u2019s future nursery.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Justin and I had come a long way in our journey to parenthood. We\u2019d fallen in love at age 14 (me) and 16 (him). We waited five long years before getting engaged and I walked the stage at my high school graduation with a diamond ring on my finger. A year later, we got married. Before deciding to start a family, our lives were anything but ordinary. One of our special connections to each other was our musical talents\u2014I was a singer and Justin played the guitar.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

For 10 years, music became our life\u2014our reason for existing. Writing and recording songs, performing in front of large crowds (sometimes small), and just doing what we loved together was a dream come true. While our rock star lives were fun and somewhat fulfilling, I remember standing on stage one night when the desire to have a child washed over me like a tidal wave. I suddenly had this deep fear that my life was missing something.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

After discussing it with Justin, he agreed, and one year later, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Giving birth to my son was painful, but it brought about the most amazing feelings I\u2019d ever felt as a human being\u2014my life was complete.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I wish I could say my son loved his lime green nursery, or my husband became the best dad in the world. I wish I could say a few years later, we made another baby, and we held each other\u2019s hands during our son\u2019s pre-k graduation. Unfortunately, I can\u2019t say any of this because of what happened three days later.<\/p>\n

On June 17th (three days after our son was born) our backyard neighbor squeezed the trigger of a 9-millimeter, semi-automatic handgun. The bullet traveled over 200 yards to our home, crashed through our back window, and continued across our living room, finally stopping when it struck Justin in the head. Headlines read, \u2018New dad killed by stray bullet while celebrating newborn\u2019s homecoming.\u2019 My postpartum body was weak, but I managed to drag myself to Justin\u2019s side. His arm was twisted in an unusual way and his once rosy red lips were white as snow. Afraid of what I might see, I resisted the urge to brush the red hair covering his face. As family member pried me away from his body, I rushed to my infant son. \u2018I need to nurse him,\u2019 I thought, \u2018It\u2019s been too long since he\u2019s fed.\u2019 While nursing my baby, I rocked back and forth, back and forth, praying for a miracle. I hoped that in some way Justin would pull through. I didn\u2019t know it at the time, but Justin had died on impact and the only thing I\u2019m grateful for is that he wasn\u2019t able to feel any pain. Overnight, I was transformed into a grief-stricken widow who saw herself as nothing but a shell of the person she once was. Empty on the inside, and completely closed off from the outside world.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The very next day, I had to give a statement to the police. The man who\u2019d shot my husband was a highly intoxicated convicted felon by the name of Charles Shisler. I stumbled through my statement while nursing my son. The images in my head were clear but I couldn\u2019t seem to put them into words. Over the next year, my life became a collection of moments I had to survive. I wanted to enjoy motherhood and my baby, but the pain inside of me was fierce\u2014it was unwavering.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

About 10 months after losing Justin, I went back to singing. I joined a traveling band that agreed to accommodate my son and my mom on the road. Surprisingly, performing woke something up inside of me that had been dormant for almost a year. It gave me back a piece of who I was, and I finally saw a glimpse of myself again.<\/p>\n

While on tour with my band, a friend of mine who\u2019d been itching to set me up on a date reached out. A mutual friend of ours named Don had recently come back on the market\u2014she thought we\u2019d make a perfect match. \u2018Want me to set up a group date?,\u2019 Melissa texted. \u2018He\u2019ll never know it\u2019s a setup.\u2019 \u2018What will he think of me?,\u2019 I texted back. \u2018Will he think I don\u2019t love Justin anymore?\u2019 \u2018Jess, you have to move forward with your life,\u2019 she texted back. \u2018Justin would want you to be happy.\u2019<\/p>\n

Part of me wanted to believe her, but the other half said it was wrong. I had been on a few dates since Justin died, but they were with guys I\u2019d met online; ones who didn\u2019t know my tragic story. I\u2019d known Don for years, and even though I\u2019d found him attractive, I\u2019d never thought of him that way because I was happily married to Justin. In the end, my intuition told me to go for it, and I realized Don was too good of a guy to pass up.<\/p>\n

On the night of our group dinner, the two of us immediately hit it off.<\/p>\n

\u2018Hi, can I sit here?,\u2019 I asked while pulling out the chair next to him.<\/p>\n

\u2018Hey Jess,\u2019 he said, \u2018It\u2019s so good to see you.\u2019<\/p>\n

I had butterflies in my stomach as I sipped a red wine and pretended to eat my food. I couldn\u2019t believe how sexy he was. \u2018Did he get hotter?,\u2019 I thought. As the dinner came to a close, I felt myself feeling sad. I wasn\u2019t ready to say goodnight, so I was elated when Don asked to continue the evening at a nearby bar.<\/p>\n

We downed a few whiskey shots (my bestie was my DD who sat nearby) and exchanged a few good laughs. But deep down, I feared that the conversation would shift to a darker subject, and I would be forced to talk about Justin\u2019s death. Much to my surprise, it never happened. Don told me about his recent breakup, and how his girlfriend of 4 years had broken his heart, but we never spoke of my tragedy. I thought it was odd, but I was relieved, nonetheless.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Our first official date was on a Friday. It was Mardi Gras season, and I was lucky enough to have a night off from work. Don picked me up from my parent\u2019s house where Jax and I were still living.<\/p>\n

\u2018Where are we going?,\u2019 I asked with excitement.<\/p>\n

\u2018I got a lead on a new restaurant,\u2019 he replied. \u2018It\u2019s nothing fancy, but it\u2019s supposed to be great.\u2019<\/p>\n

The night went off without a hitch, and I was starting to see a lot of potential in \u2018Mr. Perfect.\u2019 But he still did not mention Justin, and I was beginning to fear that something might be off.<\/p>\n

A few months down the road, Jax and I were finally moved into our new home. I was adjusting rather well to my new independent life, but living on my own had put a kink in my dating schedule. I\u2019d lost the luxury of a live-in babysitter, and Don and I were struggling to see one another. I knew if I wanted to take things to the next level, I would have to break my golden rule. I would have to let him spend the night. I was particularly protective of Jax, who was now 22-months-old, and I knew if Don stayed over, I would be forced to introduce them.<\/p>\n

One particular evening I gave in to my desires and thought, \u2018What\u2019s the worst that could happen?\u2019 How could I have been such a clot? At 3 a.m. my son\u2019s desperate cry echoed loudly through the baby monitor speaker. I tried everything to get him back to sleep, but he showed no signs of slowing down. Finally, after enduring 30 minutes of a screaming toddler, I brought him into my bed where Don was fast asleep. I knew the situation would be a lot for Don to take in, and I assumed he would quietly grab his stuff and head home. I never asked him to leave or asked him to stay. I let him make the call.<\/p>\n

I nestled Jax under my arms and turned away from Don. I knew he was awake because when I brought Jax into my room, he asked if everything was okay. \u2018He\u2019s fine,\u2019 I said. \u2018This is just the only way for me to get him back to sleep. I\u2019m so sorry.\u2019 While holding onto Jax, I began to cry. I felt vulnerable, and my heart ached for Justin. \u2018He should be here right now,\u2019 I thought. \u2018I should not be in this situation.\u2019 Then something incredible happened. Don scooted closer to me and Jax and rested his body next to mine. I felt his hand rubbing my back. \u2018What is he doing?,\u2019 I thought. I was baffled by this guy who\u2019d always kept things on the surface. \u2018Well, this isn\u2019t how I wanted y\u2019all to meet, but here he is,\u2019 I said. \u2018It\u2019s fine,\u2019 he whispered back, \u2018He\u2019s adorable.\u2019<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Over the next year, our relationship would see plenty of ups and downs; some I thought we\u2019d never recover from. But for me, that was the defining moment. His actions told me he was not only a caring man, but also understanding and accepting of my son. Don and I got married on the beach in September of 2018. Four years ago, I would have never imagined a life outside of Justin. He was my soulmate, my music partner, my first love, and the father of my son. He was the one I was supposed to grow old with, and he is never coming back.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

With time I\u2019ve realized something. They carry equal importance in my life, and one wouldn\u2019t be possible without the other. Justin is a part of my love story with Don, and Don is a part of my love story with Justin. I\u2019m thankful I have found a man who is accepting of that. Don does everything in his power to help me keep Justin\u2019s memory alive, and he loves my son like his own. I hope my son will grow up to be like both of my husbands. I hope he gets Justin\u2019s talent (it was like none other), and I hope he will display Don\u2019s demeanor (romantic and respectful). He will never have a chance to know Justin, but with Don by my side, he will have an opportunity to learn about Justin and one day understand how loved he truly is by both of his dads.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cFive years ago, my husband Justin and I were waist deep in OB-GYN appointments, baby books, baby names, and nursery colors. \u2018I don\u2019t like the<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4267,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4255","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4255"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4255\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4268,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4255\/revisions\/4268"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4267"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4255"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4255"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4255"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}