{"id":3773,"date":"2025-11-07T15:50:22","date_gmt":"2025-11-07T15:50:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=3773"},"modified":"2025-11-07T15:50:22","modified_gmt":"2025-11-07T15:50:22","slug":"as-a-woman-dating-a-disabled-person-i-am-shocked-at-the-things-people-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=3773","title":{"rendered":"As A Woman Dating A Disabled Person, I Am Shocked At The Things People Say"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cDating is hard. Finding genuine love is even harder. Before the pandemic hit in 2020, I was going on dates with men I\u2019d met on various dating apps. I had recently moved back to my hometown to finish graduate school and the proverbial \u2018sea\u2019 had a lot less fish in it. The year before in 2019, I had broken up with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years and had been single since. Sure, I\u2019d gone on quite a few dates and had even gotten stood up a few times (online dating is rough), but none of my dates ever panned out.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing about developing higher self-worth: you\u2019re more unwilling to put up with people\u2019s crap. And once you\u2019ve realized you deserve to be treated better than you have been getting treated, dating gets even harder.<\/p>\n

Back in 2018, I had seen a video about a man named Jason who was searching for love. He was handsome, adventurous, and he looked like a fun guy. He was 10 years older than me, but to me, age doesn\u2019t matter much in a relationship once you\u2019re past a certain age. His sisters had made him a video that was asking the internet to share the video to find him a partner. You see, dating was even harder for Jason because he was disabled. Jason was born a healthy baby, but complications left him hearing-impaired and with cerebral palsy (CP). If you think dating is hard, imagine trying to date with a disability. The video intrigued me for some reason, I can\u2019t exactly tell you why, because I really don\u2019t know. At the time, I was still dating my previous boyfriend and had even shown him the video, to which he made a joke about and went on with his day.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Fast forward to March 2020, I was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, stuck at home because of the pandemic when I saw a video about an interabled couple (which was a new term to me.) I instantly remembered Jason and his quest for love. I found the email and sent an introductory email, eager to see if he had found love yet. Right after sending the email, I was excited about a reply, but my excitement faded each day that passed without a reply. I spent 6 days waiting for a reply and actually kinda forgot about it until April 1, when I received a reply from Jason himself. We instantly started emailing and this went on, back and forth for weeks.<\/p>\n

Our conversations were varied, from our favorite foods, to travel, to books and music. He was so easy to talk to and it was like we\u2019d known each other for a long time. I asked Jason a lot of questions about his disability and what his life had been like because of it. He was open about his disability and how it had impacted his life. When he asked what I was in school for, I was reluctant to tell him. I was in school for speech-language pathology (speech therapy) and I was afraid to tell him. I knew he\u2019d think I was just talking to him from a \u2018work\u2019 interest, which was far from the truth. He reacted how I thought he would, but was kind about it. We kept emailing for weeks, and finally exchanged numbers.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Once we started texting, we shared more about our lives and grew closer. I didn\u2019t tell any of my friends because I was nervous they wouldn\u2019t understand my attraction to a disabled man. Not for the fact he was disabled, but just they wouldn\u2019t get \u2018it.\u2019 But my friends are awesome, so I shouldn\u2019t have worried. I told my close friends about my new pen pal and they were very supportive. They, of course, had questions about him and his disability but were happy for me regardless. Jason and I kept texting, video chatting, and getting to know each other. I finally told my mom I was talking to a guy I met online, about his disability, and he\u2019d be flying to Arkansas to meet me in a month or two. She was surprised.<\/p>\n

My mother was worried Jason wouldn\u2019t \u2018fit in my lifestyle.\u2019 I\u2019m a pretty outdoorsy gal. I love to hike, backpack, kayak, and stay active outdoors. She was worried the fact he was physically disabled would be limiting for me, in terms of lifestyle and hobbies. I tried to explain to her it was okay, couples didn\u2019t have to spend every waking moment together. I could do the things I love without Jason, or modify them for us to do together. She was still worried and wasn\u2019t sure why I\u2019d want to date someone with a disability. I pointed out many conditions are considered disabilities, like my sister, who has type 1 diabetes. Why should a disability make him less worthy of me? Lots of people become disabled, whether it be car accidents, age, whatever. Disability isn\u2019t something that should limit you from finding love. I was a little saddened my mom was hesitant about Jason before even meeting him, but maybe she\u2019d like him once she met him.<\/p>\n

In May of 2020, Jason and I set a date for his first visit, late July. The first thing Jason said once he got to Arkansas was, \u2018You guys have a lot of water here,\u2019 and \u2018Wow, it\u2019s so green here!\u2019 Jason had never been to Arkansas before and boy, was he in for a treat. We spent 4 amazing days together and it was all such a natural feeling. I showed him my hometown of Hot Springs National Park, took him swimming in a creek (it\u2019s an Arkansan thing), and introduced him to my mom and some friends.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

There was much to adjust to for me. I knew he was physically disabled, but I didn\u2019t quite get to what degree until I met him. He\u2019s not a wheelchair user, but he does have limited mobility. Part of Jason\u2019s CP is spasticity, which means abnormal muscle tightness due to prolonged muscle contraction. This affects his gait, along with his speech. Being a speech-language pathologist, I would go into more detail about his communication differences, but just know the CP affects his ability to communicate easily with others.<\/p>\n

Being with Jason in public was a little nerve-wracking for me because I had never been in public with a disabled individual in a romantic sense. I was nervous people would stare. I don\u2019t think anyone likes it when people stare at them in public. Some people did stare, but I think it was because we use American Sign Language (ASL) a lot when communicating. That\u2019s pretty normal for people to stare at since it\u2019s a visual language and it does catch people\u2019s eyes very easily. Some people think Jason is unintelligent and they talk to him like he\u2019s a baby, which is super annoying to us both. But other than that, most people treat us like any other couple.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I was more nervous about how my family and friends would interact with him. If you\u2019ve never interacted much with a disabled person, your first few interactions might be uncomfortable. You might not know how exactly to interact with them respectfully and courteously, what to say, what to ask, or more importantly not ask, etc. It can be a little intimidating. From what I\u2019ve learned from Jason and other disabled people online, they just want to be treated like everyone else and they are open to questions about how you should interact with them. If you wouldn\u2019t say or do it to an able-bodied person, don\u2019t say or do it to a disabled person.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Education is key to everything in life, especially when interacting with others who are different than yourself. Surprisingly, my family and close friends who have met him actually did wonderfully. I gave them tips for how to respectfully interact with Jason before they met him and helped facilitate communication when it was strained. My parents were a little hesitant at first, but my mom has warmed up to the idea and Jason over time. She now loves Jason and is very supportive of our relationship.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I knew I loved Jason before I met him in person. He is the sweetest, kindest, and most caring person I have ever met. It was a struggle to try and hide that from him because I wasn\u2019t sure if he felt the same. On his last night in Arkansas, we had a long conversation about how the visit went and what we wanted out of this relationship. We both decided the visit was successful and we wanted to pursue whatever our relationship was. I had previously told Jason I didn\u2019t want to rush into anything and wanted to be cautious and he was very respectful of that. At the end of our conversation, right before we fell asleep, he admitted he loved me and told me he didn\u2019t expect me to say it back, but he had just wanted me to know. The next morning, I told him I loved him too. This newfound love was unexpected but so comforting. I didn\u2019t really know what my relationship would look like, being with someone who is disabled, but I knew it would be amazing because Jason was amazing.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

My relationship is different, but it is also good. The fact Jason is disabled doesn\u2019t change anything about how our relationship works. No, I\u2019m not in a caregiver role. Jason is very independent and capable of anything (except cracking eggs\u2026 sorry babe!) We do normal things together, eat out, go on hikes, watch movies, etc. It\u2019s a completely normal relationship. We each go out of our way for one another. There are some things he might need help with, but there are things he can do that I can\u2019t. That\u2019s very typical in a traditional relationship if you really think about it. A couple can\u2019t really get to know one another without adversity, and with adversity being the first thing you learn about your significant other, everything is pretty transparent from the start. I\u2019m still learning what it means to be in an interabled relationship, but I can honestly say this relationship with him is the most \u2018normal\u2019 relationship I\u2019ve ever been in.<\/p>\n

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Now together for almost a whole year, we are so happy. To be fair, we have always been happy together, we just can\u2019t believe a whole year has gone by! He\u2019s met more of my family and friends, and I\u2019ve met his family as well. We are currently still doing a long-distance relationship but will be moving in together this year. We have already made so many memories together, despite the pandemic and distance. We have fun date nights over video chat, we send each other surprises in the mail, and we\u2019ve done some socially distanced traveling when permitted. We\u2019re still learning about each other and our lives, but have had so much fun over the past year.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

When I think about our relationship, I always think of the quote by Emily Bronte, \u2018Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.\u2019 Jason is constantly doing small things for me, which is super important to me. I do the same for him, it\u2019s much like a revolving door in a sense. We\u2019ve often talked about how we are so great for each other because we are both \u2018givers.\u2019 Our relationship isn\u2019t perfect, because no relationship is perfect. What\u2019s important is we both put in the work to make our relationship as healthy and fun as it can be, regardless of our differences.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Jason\u2019s disability is an important part of him, but it\u2019s not the most important thing about him. Disability shouldn\u2019t ever make someone less worthy of finding love. We are all diverse humans with diverse abilities and interests. Interabled relationships are becoming more socially acceptable as time goes on, but they shouldn\u2019t be such a taboo subject in the first place. Disabled people are deserving of love. Disabled people are sexual beings. Disabled people are worthy partners.<\/p>\n

Jason\u2019s disability is a small fraction of what makes him special and I am so fortunate I saw that video back in 2018. I can\u2019t tell you exactly why I felt the need to reach out to him last year, but I\u2019m so happy I did. Our relationship might look different from the outside, but it\u2019s just two imperfect people learning how to love each other and tackle this funny thing we call life. Disability or no, you fall in love with the person you fall in love with and you deal with whatever entails.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cDating is hard. Finding genuine love is even harder. Before the pandemic hit in 2020, I was going on dates with men I\u2019d met on<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3785,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3773","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3773"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3773\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3786,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3773\/revisions\/3786"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3785"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3773"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3773"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3773"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}