{"id":1659,"date":"2025-10-15T15:57:36","date_gmt":"2025-10-15T15:57:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=1659"},"modified":"2025-10-15T15:57:36","modified_gmt":"2025-10-15T15:57:36","slug":"were-going-to-stay-until-the-courts-tell-us-we-cant-keep-her-we-have-to-see-it-through-for-her-no-matter-what-foster-mom-gains-custody-of-little-girl-after-2-ye","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=1659","title":{"rendered":"\u2018We\u2019re going to stay until the courts tell us we can\u2019t keep her. We have to see it through for her, no matter what.\u2019: Foster mom gains custody of little girl after 2 years raising her, \u2018Our family is finally complete\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI never thought I was strong enough to be a foster mom until I became one. We started our journey intending adoption, but a year after our certification, still praying for the phone to ring, we agreed to open our home to children who needed to be fostered, hoping we could do some good while we waited to be permanently matched. We\u2019d been married ten years, and were already blessed with five children, but we felt in our hearts we were missing someone. Doctors had already told me that carrying another baby would threaten my life, and after researching the needs in the foster care system, we chose that route for adoption. It was an easy decision: there were children who needed love, a safe home, and a family, and we had all three.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

When we hit the two-year mark, we were half way through Jason\u2019s fourth deployment, this time to Afghanistan, and had nearly given up hope we\u2019d ever receive a call. Fate has a way of surprising you, and two months later, I was offered my very first book deal. Holy workload, Batman. Two weeks later, with Jason still deployed, our social worker called.<\/p>\n

\u2018Rebecca, here\u2019s what I have,\u2019 she said.<\/p>\n

Then, by some stroke of luck, or tender mercy from God, my laptop dinged. Jason happened to hop online in Afghanistan.<\/p>\n

I quickly typed out the details of the little girl\u2019s situation, asking our social worker to hold on for just a second.<\/p>\n

\u2018They think she\u2019ll only need to be fostered for about a month,\u2019 I told him. \u2018What do you think?\u2019<\/p>\n

My heart pounded as three dots blinked in the message, showing he was typing out a response.<\/p>\n

\u2018How old is she?,\u2019 he asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018Five and a half months. We have to answer her right now.\u2019<\/p>\n

Oh my God, she\u2019s a baby. They told us to expect a toddler, and we have zero baby things! My mind ran amok with everything I\u2019d need to do. Those dots were blinking again, and they were taking FOREVER. She needed an answer now.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m saying yes,\u2019 I typed.<\/p>\n

\u2018Say yes,\u2019 he responded simultaneously.<\/p>\n

\u2018We\u2019ll take her!\u2019 I nearly shouted into the phone.<\/p>\n

An hour later, I had my two oldest sons on the ice for hockey practice, and my two youngest held hands as we walked across the parking lot at the rink to meet our new little charge.<\/p>\n

A social worker opened the back door of her car, and there sat all eleven pounds of Audrey-Grace. That wasn\u2019t her name yet, but now it\u2019s hard to call her anything else. My blue eyes locked on hers, and an impossible feeling of recognition took hold of me. It was as if my heart saw hers and said, \u2018There you are. I\u2019ve been looking for you!\u2019<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Audrey-Grace screamed the entire drive home that October night, and the first slivers of fear bit into me. What if I wasn\u2019t enough? What if I couldn\u2019t do it? Jason was gone, I had four rowdy boys, a brand-new book deal, and we had a minimal support system in Upstate New York with Jason\u2019s unit deployed. What if I wasn\u2019t capable? What if I failed everyone?<\/p>\n

\u2018Well, at least we know her lungs work,\u2019 Aidan, our eight year-old joked, breaking the tension. We all laughed, but I knew it wasn\u2019t going to be as easy, as perfect as I\u2019d been na\u00efve enough to picture in my head.<\/p>\n

She woke in the middle of the night, and I found myself in familiar territory, stumbling toward a nursery in groggy exhaustion. But this time I was trying to comfort a baby who didn\u2019t know me.<\/p>\n

\u2018I know I\u2019m not who you\u2019re looking for,\u2019 I promised her as she blinked up at me, so light and frail. \u2018But I\u2019ll be here every time you look for me, okay? I promise you\u2019re safe. I won\u2019t let anything happen to you while you\u2019re with us. Also, your new brothers are loud, and I\u2019m sorry for that, but they\u2019re going to adore you.\u2019<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The next day a new social worker warned us, \u2018Don\u2019t get too attached, this is only for the month.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I know,\u2019 I replied, because my brain knew that truth. My heart just didn\u2019t care. I was already attached because she needed me to be. Jason and I made a choice to treat her as if she were staying, even if it was only for a few weeks. Audrey-Grace was underfed, underdeveloped, and had tested positive for drugs at birth. Maybe getting attached would hurt us even more when she left, but she had severe needs and deserved nothing less than a loving family for however long she would stay.<\/p>\n

But the month went by. Then two. Then three. Then the day we\u2019d waited so patiently for came\u2014Jason returned home, and I was overjoyed to introduced him to our daughter! She grabbed ahold of his nose, and he was smitten, just like the rest of us.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The months passed in a blur as Jason adjusted to being home, my first book published, and her needs became more obvious. She was delayed in every area, from muscle tone to speech. By her first birthday, we were referred to a developmental pediatrician\u2026with a year-long waiting list. We immediately started eight sessions a week of early intervention therapies, which quickly consumed our hours. All of the boys doted on their sister. They vied for who got to wake her up in the morning, who helped carry her to the car, or who got to help feed her. Even knowing nothing was certain, she was theirs and they were hers.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Eleven months after Audrey-Grace arrived, the Army told Jason it was time to move, but she wasn\u2019t legally free. We couldn\u2019t bring her. Keeping the details of her case private, I\u2019ll only say that her biological family wasn\u2019t capable of caring for her special needs, and we were terrified of what would happen to her. That September court date broke our hearts. We\u2019d raised for her for year, gained legal standing, but the judge ruled to give the biological family more time to prove themselves. She would remain in foster care, and if we wanted to remain her foster parents, we\u2019d have to rip our family apart.<\/p>\n

\u2018Dad is going to have to move to Colorado,\u2019 I told our sons. \u2018He doesn\u2019t have a choice. And we are going to have to\u2014\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018We\u2019re not leaving her, right?,\u2019 Aidan interrupted, his tone laced with terror. \u2018We can\u2019t just leave her!\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018We can\u2019t go without her!,\u2019 Chase, who was seven years old, yelled.<\/p>\n

\u2018Princess Pumpkin has to come!\u2019 Brody agreed in his small, five year-old voice, using his favorite nickname for Audrey-Grace.<\/p>\n

They blew me away, humbled me right down to my core. They hadn\u2019t even waited to hear what Jason and I had decided; they simply rallied to their sister.<\/p>\n

\u2018We\u2019re going to stay,\u2019 I told them. \u2018Even if she doesn\u2019t end up as ours, we\u2019re going to stay until the courts tell us that we can\u2019t keep her. Are you guys really okay with that? We\u2019ll only see Dad about once a month.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018She\u2019s our sister,\u2019 Aaron answered, all wise with his eleven years. \u2018We\u2019ll stay.\u2019<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

By March, Jason was gone. He flew in when he could, and we juggled the boys\u2019 hockey schedule, my writing, publishing and signing schedule, and Jason\u2019s military obligations, trying desperately to spend time together when we could.<\/p>\n

Audrey-Grace took her first steps at twenty months. By two, she still hadn\u2019t spoken a word, couldn\u2019t drink from a straw or a sippy cup, and didn\u2019t hit any of her milestones. That summer the developmental pediatrician diagnosed Audrey-Grace with global delay, microcephaly, albinism, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder and possible autism, though she was too young to formally diagnose the latter. She\u2019d suffered irreparable brain damage before birth and would most likely need care for the rest of her life. We were devastated for Audrey-Grace and petrified of what could happen to her if we weren\u2019t in her future.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Court dates were pushed back. Audrey-Grace\u2019s social worker fought for her tirelessly and apologized repeatedly for what we were all going through, but I understood the purpose of foster care\u2014it was our job to facilitate reunion, and terminating parental rights is nothing to be taken lightly or judged quickly. We were stretched to our max, both emotionally and financially, living in a vise where every time we felt secure enough to exhale, it tightened, stealing our ability to draw breath.<\/p>\n

We hit our breaking point in late September.<\/p>\n

\u2018What are we going to do if they rule to keep her in foster care?,\u2019 Jason asked during a visit. \u2018We\u2019ve raised her for two years.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t know,\u2019 I said softly. \u2018Everything is so hard. You\u2019ve been gone seven months, I\u2019m behind on deadlines, the kids are a wreck, and we just miss you. But I can\u2019t fathom leaving her.\u2019<\/p>\n

He nodded. \u2018I know. And if they return her to her biological family, we don\u2019t get that choice, and if we leave before they determine her status, she\u2019ll get shipped to another foster family who doesn\u2019t know her, or her therapists, or her routine\u2026and we\u2019re breaking,\u2019 he noted quietly.<\/p>\n

\u2018And we\u2019re breaking,\u2019 I admitted.<\/p>\n

\u2018We\u2019re ripping our family to shreds trying to keep it together.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I know.\u2019 And I did. Seeing each other once a month like this was killing us.<\/p>\n

\u2018So if the judge rules to keep her in foster care, that\u2019s another year apart.\u2019 His voice was sandpaper rough, speaking the words I couldn\u2019t. \u2018We\u2026we might have to make a tough decision.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I know,\u2019 I whispered again.<\/p>\n

He kissed my forehead, neither of us willing to examine that kind of decision yet, and walked outside to mow the lawn. How long could we live apart like this?<\/p>\n

A few minutes later, I heard the mower stop and looked up to see him striding through our kitchen door with tears in his eyes. He wrapped me in his arms and said, \u2018We can\u2019t leave her. I can\u2019t hand her over to strangers, and I know it\u2019s harder on you, that you\u2019re the one here doing it all, but we can\u2019t. We have to see it through for her, no matter what.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018I know. We won\u2019t leave her. We\u2019ll stay as long as they let us.\u2019 It didn\u2019t matter that we\u2019d worn ourselves to the bone; we could never abandon Audrey-Grace.<\/p>\n

A few days later we sat in the court room, our hands locked together, stunned as the biological family signed over their rights. We were torn between relief, joy, and utter heartbreak for what our daughter both gained and lost.<\/p>\n

I burst into tears once the courtroom was clear. Our social worker, Kristy, pulled me into a hug and said, \u2018It\u2019s okay, it\u2019s over. She\u2019s yours.\u2019 It was the most surreal moment of my life.<\/p>\n

Afterward, Jason and I stared at each other with silly smiles. We knew our family and friends were waiting to hear news, but the first person we told was Audrey-Grace. We hadn\u2019t used the name we\u2019d decided to give her until that moment. She\u2019d never responded to the name she\u2019d been given at birth, and it felt right to give her a fresh start and my grandmothers\u2019 names. We kept her original name as one of her middle names, honoring both her history and her future.<\/p>\n

Three weeks later, after 755 days in our home, we adopted Audrey-Grace.<\/p>\n

The last three and a half years have been full of joy and a few challenges. She was officially diagnosed with autism two years ago, and we were told she\u2019d never speak or progress. But we\u2019re all about defying the odds, and today she has a vocabulary of about thirty complete words, can start another 257 words, and keeps her therapists hopping by hacking her speech devices and networking computers. She soaks up information like a sponge, and inspires us every day.<\/p>\n

And sure, there are moments where I still worry. Where I wonder how far she\u2019ll advance as she grows. Where Jason and I interlace our hands in bittersweet understanding when we see neurotypical kindergarteners. There are times the future feels a little daunting, knowing the level of care she needs and will continue to need long after we\u2019re gone.<\/p>\n

But last night, on her sixth birthday, she ran into my office with her talking device, asked for milk, and then ran out again, giggling. And all of those worries faded as I hit my knees and offered up the simplest, truest prayer. \u2018Thank you.\u2019 Because even when worries and meltdowns hit, we recall the years we spent struggling to do what was best for her, fighting to keep her, and gratitude washes the rest away. She is exactly whom we were missing, and we\u2019re thankful every day that our family is complete.<\/p>\n

As we tucked her into her bed last night, Jason smiled and said, \u2018We\u2019re so very lucky.\u2019 And I replied with a smile and the only words I have after all these years.<\/p>\n

\u2018I know.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI never thought I was strong enough to be a foster mom until I became one. We started our journey intending adoption, but a year<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1670,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1659","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1659","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1659"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1659\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1671,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1659\/revisions\/1671"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1670"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}