Whether we\u2019re single or we have an SO (or we\u2019re somewhere in between), prying family members will inevitably ask us when we\u2019re going to get married. What these people in your life may not know, though, is that millennials are more disenchanted with the idea of marriage than any generation before them. In other words, it might be time to cool it with the future wedding inquiries.<\/p>\n
In 2014, a survey by the Pew Research Center showed that 61 percent of people over the age of 65 said marriage should be a top priority for bettering our society. Only 29 percent of Gen Y said the same, though. The age we\u2019re getting married is certainly getting older on average as well, proving that even if we fancy the idea of marriage, we\u2019re in no rush to walk down the aisle. The median age for men to get married for the first time is 27.1, and for women it\u2019s 25.3. These are the highest median ages the U.S. has ever seen.<\/p>\n
Millennials aren\u2019t the only ones with cold feet, though. The U.S. Census reported that the number of couples over the age of 50 who lived together without getting hitched rose from 1.2 million in 2000 to 2.8 million in 2010. For them, marriage could result in loss of Social Security or pension, so they choose to stick with just love instead, and no paperwork. It seems like all sorts of people are in agreement \u2014 maybe marriage isn\u2019t the best idea after all.<\/p>\n
Here are eight totally valid reasons to never get married.<\/p>\n
1. Marriage Is Going Out Of Style<\/p>\n
The Pew Research Center reported in 2010 that only half of Americans are married. In 1960, 72 percent of adults over the age of 18 were married, but today only 51 percent are. Two years after that, it was discovered that the number of never-been-married individuals in the U.S. was at an all-time high. One in every five adults over the age of 25 had never tied the knot, compared to one in 10 in 1960.<\/p>\n
Besides, the very nature of long-term relationships has changed over the last few decades. We\u2019re much more likely to move in together when things get serious, and generally, both people in the relationship are working professionals who have their own goals and ambitions. The so-called financial security that was once a sparkling pro of donning a white dress doesn\u2019t exist in the same way anymore.<\/p>\n
2. You Can Opt For A Domestic Partnership Instead<\/p>\n
One of the benefits of getting married is that you\u2019re legally recognized as a couple. Well, you don\u2019t need to go to the chapel in order for that to be the case. In 11 different states, you have the option of signing up for a domestic partnership, which is a legal and formal recognition of your relationship, just like marriage. The benefits of this union differ in each state, and sometimes in each city or municipality. Do some research to find out what\u2019s offered in your hometown.<\/p>\n
Keep in mind, however, that your domestic partnership won\u2019t be honored in some other states and countries, so factor that in if you and your partner have plans to move around but you want to maintain benefits.<\/p>\n
3. So Many Marriages End In Divorce Anyway<\/p>\n
Admittedly, divorce rates have actually been in decline over the last two decades. In 2011, there were 3.6 divorces per thousand people, while in 1990 there were 4.7 per thousand people. People who married in the 2000s are actually seeing a very low divorce rate, particularly if they\u2019re college graduates, out of which only 11 percent were divorced before their seventh wedding anniversary.<\/p>\n
Even so, the divorce rate is still pretty high \u2014 around 30 percent of couples who got married in the 1990s were divorced before they hit their 15th anniversary. Sure, that number is lower than what it was 30 years ago, but it\u2019s still significant enough to make us narrow our eyes in skepticism. Plus, the fear of divorce simply looms over our heads because, frankly, we\u2019re still surrounded by it. We\u2019ve seen parents, friends, and celebrities split up \u2014 or, as Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin call it, \u201cconsciously uncouple.\u201d<\/p>\n
Regardless of the statistics, we can\u2019t shake what it feels like to witness so many seemingly happy couples split, and we don\u2019t want to put ourselves through the legal and financial strains it would take to end a marriage. Finally, let\u2019s not forget: only 29 percent of people who are divorced say they would marry again in the future. Ouch.<\/p>\n
4. You Don\u2019t Need To Be Married To Fulfill A Lifelong Commitment<\/p>\n
Most of us grew up thinking that marriage was the ultimate commitment. That\u2019s how it\u2019s portrayed in movies, books, and TV shows. The proposal is when the birds sing and the string instruments play an ethereal melody that signifies eternity. Well, Hollywood doesn\u2019t always get it right (um, #OscarsSoWhite). If you\u2019re in a relationship and the two of you know you want to be together for the rest of your life, why do you need a binding legal document to make that a reality? If you think about it, the institution of marriage historically had nothing to do with love and affection anyway, which brings us to the following\u2026<\/p>\n
5. Historically, The Institution Of Marriage Considered Women Property<\/p>\n
Back in the day, love and affection were things nobody gave a rat\u2019s ass about when it came to marriage. The whole idea of joining two people together for life was centered more on trading women for goods or property as if we were nothing more than material things. Under English law in the 19th century and earlier, women\u2019s legal identity dissolved into nothing once they married a man. Technically, a married woman existed under the \u201cprotection and influence of her husband, her baron, or lord\u201d until the Married Women\u2019s Property Act of 1882, which allowed women to own and property for the first time.<\/p>\n
In the U.S., married women weren\u2019t allowed to sign contracts, write a will, or own property \u2014 and were only allowed to do certain things with their husband\u2019s permission. Surprisingly, it was Mississippi that passed a law in 1839, the first of many groundbreaking state laws, allowing women to legally own and control property. It was a game changer in the way married women existed in the world.<\/p>\n
Even outside the legal scope, just thinking about the longstanding traditions of marriage make it clear that women have been considered property for a long time. The fact that the father \u201cgives away\u201d his daughter at the wedding came from the fact that, historically, she was being exchanged for a hefty dowry. It\u2019s understandable if you just don\u2019t want any part of it.<\/p>\n
6. You Don\u2019t Have To Be Married To Have Children<\/p>\n
A Pew survey in 2010 showed that four out of ever 10 millennials actually viewed marriage as obsolete, particularly when it comes to having a family. We know we can still be the legal parents of our kids without having to walk down the aisle.<\/p>\n
Forty percent of children were born to single mothers in 2011. One year later, one half of all births to women under the age of 30 happened out of wedlock. Although not all of these cases were planned, it does show that the previous idea of a nuclear family isn\u2019t as crucial as it once was. Ultimately, educated women today don\u2019t see marriage as the main event that kicks off your adult life. They\u2019re able to accomplish a whole lot without tying the knot \u2014 including and especially having children.<\/p>\n
7. You Might Feel More Independent If You\u2019re Not Married<\/p>\n
According to the 2010 Pew survey, 24 percent of single people believe that marriage will prevent them from accomplishing certain career goals. The vast majority of these same individuals flat-out believe that married folks aren\u2019t as financially secure and generally happy as they are. Furthermore, it\u2019s said that once you\u2019re married, you tend to lose close friendships with some people in your life.<\/p>\n
Although these notions aren\u2019t necessarily proven to be true, you can see how the boundaries of marriage may hinder you from living out your life freely, exactly the way you want. It\u2019s not that getting married automatically makes you a boring failure with zero friends. It\u2019s just that living outside the bounds of marriage may give you more freedom to go about your work, handle your finances, and live out your social life.<\/p>\n
8. Not Getting Married Is Not Synonymous With Being Alone<\/p>\n
Many of us understand that rejecting marriage doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019ll die alone, without anyone around to keep you company at night, save for a cat. Nor does it mean that you\u2019re going to miss out on a commitment with someone you love. You can still date, you can still be in a long-term relationship, or you can enjoy the throne of singledom for the rest of your days \u2014 whatever floats your boat. Thankfully, in the context of larger society, we\u2019ve (at least slightly) moved away from the idea that an unmarried woman is a lonely loser. Might as well ride that wave and keep proving to the world that saying no to a proposal is just as cool as, if not cooler than, throwing an engagement party.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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