It\u2019s safe to say when you began this relationship, you had no idea that your SO was a narcissist.<\/p>\n
Narcissists are irresistibly charming and charismatic at the start of the relationship. They\u2019ll shower their partners with flattery, affection and gifts, but once the commitment is made, things start to go downhill fast.<\/p>\n
Anyone who\u2019s lived through it will tell you that living with a narcissist is a nightmare. The only thing worse than being controlled by one is breaking things off with one.<\/p>\n
1. Narcissists never go quietly into the night.
\nIt\u2019s easy to assume once the breakup is initiated, your nightmare will finally be over. But narcissists tend to ramp up their abusive tendencies during the breakup.<\/p>\n
Separation can bring out the worst in even the most amicable of couples, but narcissists use the time to continue their crusade of fear and manipulation.<\/p>\n
If you don\u2019t play the game carefully, strategically and without emotion, the whole ordeal can inflict severe psychological wounds.<\/p>\n
It helps to have someone by your side who knows and understands how narcissists work. If you\u2019re married or have any joint belongings, experts recommend hiring a lawyer who has handled divorce cases involving narcissistic spouses.<\/p>\n
2. Narcissists are in it to win it.
\nLet\u2019s be honest, nobody wins in a breakup. But if both parties can come to a fair and just agreement, the end result is far more satisfying.<\/p>\n
Narcissists are not likely to view any agreement as fair or just. They\u2019re in it to win it. There will be no negotiation and no mediation. Any sort of compromise on their part will be seen as defeat.<\/p>\n
Narcissists need to be validated, and in this case, proven right. They\u2019ll say anything (no matter how far-fetched the lie) to get what they want.<\/p>\n
The story they spew during the breakup will probably be far from the truth as they attempt to save face.<\/p>\n
3. Narcissists aren\u2019t afraid to sling mud.
\nIf you were married to this person, they will bring the baggage to the courtroom.<\/p>\n
Narcissists will sling whatever mud they can get their hands on \u2013 whether it\u2019s true or not \u2013 just to see what sticks.<\/p>\n
Be prepared for your partner to tell everyone how you\u2019re the bad guy, whether it be among your friend group or in front of a judge.<\/p>\n
Narcissists lack empathy, have a desire to win above all else and could care less about the consequences of their behavior.<\/p>\n
Your ex will work hard to pollute the waters and paint you black to your co-workers, family, friends and anyone else who will lend their ears.<\/p>\n
4. Narcissists will do their best to lure you into their game.
\nNo matter the situation or the circumstances of the breakup, narcissists will always view themselves as the victim. Your ex will want to know why you\u2019re \u201cdoing this to them,\u201d and will pin the blame on you entirely.<\/p>\n
And when you try to bring up real issues that need to be addressed, the topic will be shifted back to you and your \u201cpoor qualities.\u201d<\/p>\n
But no matter how inflammatory the remarks, it\u2019s important not to get lured into your ex\u2019s game. Take away your ex\u2019s power by ignoring these comments and staying focused on the issue.<\/p>\n
If possible, keep communication to a minimum during and after the divorce. If kids are involved, you may need to discuss the logistics of visitation or travel, but it\u2019s okay to completely disregard any other communication. There\u2019s no need to continually reopen old wounds or expose yourself to your partner\u2019s abuse.<\/p>\n
5. Narcissists will drag out the process for as long as possible.
\nYour narcissistic ex will likely refuse to settle or negotiate during the breakup, especially if we are dealing with divorce.<\/p>\n
Remember, narcissists only care about winning and getting what they want. There\u2019s no room for negotiation in their minds.<\/p>\n
Whether it\u2019s dividing your assets or deciding on child custody and support arrangements, your ex will drag out the proceedings. If you aren\u2019t married, they will still likely play games with you throughout the whole process.<\/p>\n
It can take years to heal from the wounds of a relationship and a breakup with a narcissist.<\/p>\n
Having a good support system in place to help you handle the narcissist can help make the entire process smoother and less stressful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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