While it\u2019s perfectly OK to have the occasional argument, there\u2019s nothing fun or healthy about disagreements that just won\u2019t quit. Whether you and your partner are fighting over something big, or something seemingly insignificant (like who should do the dishes), it\u2019s always good to know how to end any argument.<\/p>\n
If you keep a few tricks up your sleep, and know how to defuse such situations, you can get back to a happier, stress-free life \u2014 and maybe even save your relationship. That\u2019s because (unsurprisingly) ineffective arguing can truly take a toll on things. \u201cWhen couples can\u2019t resolve their arguments it leads to deepening blame and resentment\u201d relationship expert Dr. Joanne Davila, PhD tells Bustle. \u201cPeople \u2018dig in their heels,\u2019 and partners become polarized against one another.\u201d<\/p>\n
There\u2019s no denying knowing what to say, what not to say, and when to say it can make both your lives easier. As Davila says, \u201cBeing skilled at knowing how to end an argument can stop what begins as a small disagreement or hurt from turning into a relationship-ending disaster.\u201d Sounds pretty necessary, right? If you\u2019d like to know the tricks, read on for a few genius ways to end your arguments, so you can have the healthiest, most argument-free relationship possible.<\/p>\n
1. Stay Physically Close To Each Other<\/p>\n
When having a disagreement, it can be tempting to yell at each other from across a room (or over the phone). But if you want the argument to end quickly, make it a point to sit near each other instead. \u201cSimple touch, for many, can calm heated emotions before they get out of control,\u201d says relationship expert Heather Claus. Sometimes holding hands or sitting with knees touching is all it takes.<\/p>\n
2. Agree To Make Small Changes<\/p>\n
If you and your partner constantly argue about the same little things (like where it\u2019s appropriate to hang a towel or the correct way to wash dishes), you should just go ahead and let them be \u201cright.\u201d As Claus says, \u201cit\u2019s easy to just say, \u2018Hey, could you show me (tell me, explain to me) what I\u2019m doing wrong, and what you\u2019d prefer?’\u201d Definitely worth it.<\/p>\n
3. Use A Safe Word<\/p>\n
As relationship expert Barry S. Selby, MA tells me, having a go-to \u201csafe word\u201d can be a great way to defuse arguments. If you or your partner feels like things are getting out of hand, simply say the word and then make a point of slowing and truly listening. (Genius, right?)<\/p>\n
4. Go Ahead And Take A Break<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not possible to shut every fight down the moment it begins. Sometimes it\u2019s necessary to take a breather, and that\u2019s perfectly OK. Just be sure to tell your partner when, exactly, you\u2019ll be down to chat again. As licensed clinical psychologist Melanie Greenberg, PhD says, \u201cIt communicates to your partner that you are taking their concerns seriously and not just dismissing them.\u201d<\/p>\n
5. Agree To Disagree<\/p>\n
There are some topics that are so difficult to agree on that it might be necessary to call it a draw. \u201cThis is nonjudgmental and can put an end to a stalemate without anybody losing face or feeling like they\u2019re backing down,\u201d Greenberg says. Totally worth it.<\/p>\n
6. Take The Argument Somewhere Else<\/p>\n
If you two have been arguing for hours, it\u2019s more than time to take it outside, so to speak. Go out to a coffee shop, or drive home from the restaurant. As Claus says, \u201csometimes a change of scenery is enough to clear the air.\u201d<\/p>\n
7. Disagree Through A Different Medium<\/p>\n
In the same vein, it can often help to pick up the argument again in a different form. \u201cArguing on the phone? Suggest to meet in person to discuss it further. Arguing in person? Suggest setting it aside and continuing the discussion via email to remove some of the heated emotion,\u201d Claus says. It really can make all the difference in the world.<\/p>\n
8. Go For A Walk Together<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re embroiled in a disagreement that just won\u2019t quit, think about going for quick a walk. \u201cWalking and talking reduces tension because feel good hormones are being released through physical activity, which will reduce the stress,\u201d says life coach Lizzie O\u2019Halloran. Do a few laps around the block and things should be a-OK.<\/p>\n
9. Look At The Bigger Picture<\/p>\n
Take a moment to look at the issue in comparison to your relationship and your larger goals. As Kali Rogers, founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, says, \u201cPerspective can change a lot about an argument. If you are able to \u2018zoom out\u2019 and realize that in the scheme of your relationship, this argument is a blip and both of you are getting stressed out for nothing, it can easily relieve the pressure you\u2019re under and give you the space you need to become rational again.\u201d<\/p>\n
10. Let Your Partner Know You\u2019re Listening<\/p>\n
One of the most frustrating things ever is that sense your partner isn\u2019t really, truly listening. So make sure you do your part when it comes to hearing (and understanding) what\u2019s being said during a fight. As couples therapist Evie Shafner says, \u201cSay to your partner, \u2018Let me see if I understand you\u2019 and then reflect back what you heard your partner say.\u201d It seems so simple, but it works like a charm.<\/p>\n
11. Get Naked<\/p>\n
Yes, (if you\u2019re home and you\u2019re both cool with it) getting naked with your partner really can help end an argument. \u201cIt\u2019s hard to stay mad at someone when they are naked,\u201d says marriage and family therapist Jessica Bowen, MA, LMFTA, CHT. \u201cUltimately it should make you remember that you are both just human.\u201d Kinda funny but still so sweet, don\u2019t you think?<\/p>\n
Tricks like these can help you end an argument before it gets out of hand. Sure, you may have to \u201close\u201d the fight, or agree to disagree, but it\u2019s so much better than simmering in anger or letting the situation get out of control.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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