I Have said it once, and I\u2019ll say it again. It takes time to fall in love with someone. I\u2019m as much of a sucker for the idea of love at first sight as any other \u201990s girl raised on Disney Channel Original Movies, but the dating writer in me knows the difference between love and lust. You can certainly be intensely attracted to someone right off the bat, but truly loving them, warts and all, can only come with time. So, if you think your partner is in love with you but doesn\u2019t love you fully, maybe it\u2019s just too soon.<\/p>\n
There are some potential signs that might indicate your partner is falling for you, even if they aren\u2019t completely attached yet. I spoke with two relationship experts about being \u201cin love\u201d versus really loving someone \u2014 and their insights are fascinating. Just remember that these five signs that your partner is in love with you but doesn\u2019t love you fully aren\u2019t necessarily red flags. They only mean that your relationship still has the potential to develop and your feelings have time to intensify.<\/p>\n
\u201cLove is a multifaceted emotional state that can grow over time based on our personal growth, experiences with each other, and perspective on our world,\u201d says Jen Elmquist, MA, LMFT, relationship specialist and co-host of Evine After Dark. \u201cThe process of supporting one another long-term, through ups and downs, often expands and secures our bonds of love.\u201d<\/p>\n
01
\nEverything Still Feels New And Exciting<\/p>\n
According to Emlquist, \u201cthe early feel-good chemicals that are present when a couple falls \u2018in love\u2019 can last anywhere from six months to three years.\u201d This psychological phase of falling in love is called limerence, and it is similar to infatuation or even obsession. During limerence, couples get an extra boost in their relationship, which helps them to bond, she explains.<\/p>\n
\u201cAfter that time, if a secure attachment develops, the couple balances into a more stable, comfortable love state with one another,\u201d says Elmquist. So, if your relationship is still in this initial phase, you and your partner may not yet have had the chance to get to that more stable zone.<\/p>\n
02
\nThey Make Decisions Based On Emotion, Rather Than Logic<\/p>\n
\u201cWe often use the phrase \u2018in love\u2019 when we are talking about the initial emotional reaction of high desirability that comes in the early phase of a relationship,\u201d says Elmquist. \u201cLoving someone becomes evident when our actions in a relationship supersede our emotions, meaning, even if I don\u2019t feel \u2018in love\u2019 I will choose you, what is best for you, and what is best for us.\u201d<\/p>\n
If you feel like your significant other makes rash decisions based on how they feel about you, they\u2019re likely in love with you, rather than at the point of loving you completely. They still want to be spontaneous and romantic, even if it isn\u2019t always the best laid plan.<\/p>\n
03
\nThere Hasn\u2019t Yet Been An Opportunity To Build Trust<\/p>\n
Elmquist\u2019s book, Relationship Reset, explores four \u201cattitudes\u201d that need to be present for a great relationship to develop. \u201cThose are alignment, reciprocity, trust, and love,\u201d she says. \u201cLove is supremely important for couples, but it needs to be supported by having each other\u2019s backs, healthy give and take, and shared values to grow and survive long-term.\u201d<\/p>\n
In order to build trust, you and your S.O. need to practice compromise. If you haven\u2019t been able to prove to each other that you\u2019re trustworthy, because you haven\u2019t faced a major conflict, you may still be at the \u201cin love\u201d stage of your relationship \u2014 and that\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n
04
\nThey Get Jealous Or Possessive<\/p>\n
\u201cLove means I deeply care. I deeply respect. I have a desire to protect. I see the depth and value and truth of who that person is and I value that. There is a calm, a knowing, a strength,\u201d says Kailen Rosenberg, master certified love, life and relationship coach.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2018In love\u2019 means they get your juices going, your hormones stirring, your neurotransmitters moving and shaking. There is a feeling of attachment that can come with a mild possessiveness, almost a territorial vibe. When you are in love, jealousy can erupt. You are doting and giving a lot of extra attention. They might seemingly be on your mind more often. It feels fresh, new, exciting and vulnerable.\u201d<\/p>\n
Rosenberg describes true, authentic love as having more of a mature vibe. \u201c\u2018In love\u2019 is your teenage [and] college years,\u201d she says. \u201cLove is [when] you have graduated to \u2026 Ph.D. level.\u201d<\/p>\n
05
\nThey Focus On Their Feelings More Than Yours<\/p>\n
Growing to love somebody more over time comes with self-awareness, according to Rosenberg. True love is not about yourself, however. It is what you have for the other person. \u201cReal love has genuine care and concern for the person you love. When you really love someone you wouldn\u2019t forget what is important to them,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe feeling of being \u2018in love\u2019 with someone is actually more self-focused. Truly loving, is about losing all the toxic, swirly stuff around being in love and getting to that deeper level. People want that so badly and they think that they will never get there. But the good news is they can,\u201d says Rosenberg.<\/p>\n
The subtle differences between being in love and loving someone can get confusing. \u201cMany people think being in love is healthier, deeper, and more meaningful than loving,\u201d says Rosenberg. In reality, though, \u201clove at its fullest is the most pure. It does not need that higher energetic level of the feeling of being \u2018in love\u2019 to be most profound and deep.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I Have said it once, and I\u2019ll say it again. It takes time to fall in love with someone. I\u2019m as much of a sucker<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12819,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12818","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12818"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12818\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12820,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12818\/revisions\/12820"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12818"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12818"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12818"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}