{"id":1150,"date":"2025-10-10T15:09:57","date_gmt":"2025-10-10T15:09:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=1150"},"modified":"2025-10-10T15:09:57","modified_gmt":"2025-10-10T15:09:57","slug":"i-think-its-best-to-move-them-into-a-2-parent-home-i-had-failed-they-were-concerned-i-wasnt-committed-to-their-care-single-mom-of-5-shares-adoption-jou","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=1150","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I think it\u2019s best to move them into a 2-parent home.\u2019 I had failed. They were concerned I wasn\u2019t committed to their care.\u2019: Single mom of 5 shares adoption journey, \u2018These girls are my world\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cThis is not how I thought my life would look like at 28 years old. This life is a dream come true, but this is a dream I didn\u2019t even know I had. Being their mom will be the single most important accomplishment of my life.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I ignorantly took a leap of faith into foster care, and it wrecked me.<\/p>\n

I had nothing to offer but love. I mean, I had nothing. I lived in a crappy 750 sq ft, 2 bedroom apartment that, thanks to my downstairs neighbors, reeked of pot occasionally. My financial status would have been classified as \u2018almost stable.\u2019 I was single with no family in the state of Tennessee. I was working full time and then some. I said yes, and I have no idea why because I had every reason to say no.<\/p>\n

I literally had nothing to offer but love, but I knew this was my calling. When I was 15, I took a trip with my aunt and uncle to an orphanage to assist with their children while they finished the adoption process of a little girl from Ecuador. It was in that orphanage, For His Children, in Quito, Ecuador, that God clearly told me, \u2018This is what you\u2019re going to do with your life.\u2019 I was holding a sweet, precious baby girl whose story details align with different parts of my girls\u2019 stories.<\/p>\n

I spent 5 weeks in Quito, Ecuador, and we were in the orphanage daily helping with the children. I was able to visit the different houses, where the children lived according to their ages. I got to assist in mealtimes and walks and swimming lessons and therapies and music classes. I was able to build sweet little relationships with the children there, and I bonded with the children during my time at the orphanage. I also got to experience the local life and culture in Quito as we stayed with an Ecuadorian couple who really did an amazing job of exposing us to the beauty of Quito and its people. We spent time in the markets and malls and parks, and I fell in love with the people of Quito.<\/p>\n

Being single wasn\u2019t ever a deterrent to me when considering my future in orphan or foster care. While I definitely have the desire to be married one day, my goal in life is not based on getting married. I believe my purpose in life is to love God and to love people. Marriage is a by-product of those things within God\u2019s will. I knew God called me to orphan care, and being married or single wasn\u2019t going to waiver that calling. I had fears, of course, about doing this as a single woman. I still have those same fears, but I know that God is not going to call me into something and then abandon me. The past 4+ years have proven that time and time again.<\/p>\n

My decision to pursue foster care was initiated first out my calling to orphan care, but also because of a message at church about being pro-life. To me, pro-life means advocating for all lives, not just the unborn. I wanted to step into the hard places with these families by loving on hurting children after being removed from their families. Unfortunately, none of my long-term placements ended with parent reunification, but I have had the opportunity to build relationships with the families in different ways.<\/p>\n

My very first placement was a respite placement for a 2-week-old baby, whom I picked up from the NICU. She was precious and amazing, but I only had her for respite because she had 2 siblings she needed to be placed with. At the time, I didn\u2019t have the peace about raising 3 kids on my own right off the bat. They were all 3 and under at the time. So I loved on that sweet girl for 44 hours before DCS found a placement for her and her siblings.<\/p>\n

All of my other placements were all long-term and adoptive cases. Six days after I said goodbye to that sweet baby girl, I brought home my oldest girls, Ava and Sadie, at the ages of 4 and 2. From the very beginning of their case, I did my best to connect with their biological mother. I downloaded the app Sideline so I could protect my privacy while also keeping in contact with her to share pictures with her and allow phone calls. I would send in crafts and gifts from the girls to her during their visitation time. I would do my best to keep her updated on the girls\u2019 medical appointments.<\/p>\n

With Nora, my third daughter, she only had a couple of visits with her biological parents before they stopped visiting, but I did meet Nora\u2019s biological grandfather during a court hearing once. He gave me his number and told me to reach out if I wanted because he was raising the older 2 brothers. I called him around Nora\u2019s first birthday to set up a lunch with the older siblings (there are 2 sisters as well). So, I have kept up with that sibling connection throughout the past couple of years, which has led to a really beautiful relationship with them. One of the older sisters has babysat for me and has joined me and my girls for my family\u2019s Thanksgiving out of state.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Mia\u2019s case was unique for different reasons I cannot disclose, but I was able to build a good relationship with her biological mother that I still retain to this day in an open adoption. Then with Lucy\u2019s case, it was very unique. Lucy is Nora\u2019s biological sister, and their biological mother requested that Lucy be placed with me and be adopted by me. It is such a privilege to be trusted in that way by their biological mother.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I was 24 years old when I started fostering, and I was seriously sheltered and abundantly ignorant. Those first few months were the hardest of my life. My first long term placement was a sibling set of 2 girls, ages 2 and 4. They were young, but they were difficult. My oldest, Ava, has Cerebral Palsy, and she hadn\u2019t been given any medical care until she came into the system. Trauma also affects the immune system, and if we weren\u2019t in therapy or at a specialist, we were in the PCP office for strep, ear infections, RSV, flu, etc. I was working full time as a middle school Latin teacher and also coaching volleyball and doing other jobs around the school. The girls had 6 therapies a week on top of a weekly visit with their biological mom.<\/p>\n

I felt excited and also so under-qualified. Like, why the heck are they giving me kids to raise? I immediately felt every insecurity when it came to becoming a mother. I also just lost all my sense. I remember walking around Walmart just confused as to what to buy. What do kids eat? What size of clothes do 2-year-olds wear? Are they potty trained? Are they going to have lice? Are they going to sleep through the night? When do they start school? So many questions and thoughts flooded my mind, but I was genuinely excited to love on some kiddos. But when I took them home, it felt so foreign and so right all at the same time. Like I was made for this, but I didn\u2019t know exactly what this was.<\/p>\n

At 2 months into fostering them, I was broken. I had failed. It was so much harder than I imagined. I wasn\u2019t enough for them, and the caseworker thought it would be best to move them into a 2-parent home with a stay-at-home mom who could handle all of their medical needs.<\/p>\n

I was told my time constraints were too much due to being a full-time working single parent. I was having a friend from church take Ava to a couple of therapies for me as they conflicted with work. Their caseworker expressed her concern that I wasn\u2019t very committed to Ava\u2019s medical progress if I wasn\u2019t joining her in her therapies to learn alongside her so we could work more at home.<\/p>\n

I was so broken, I agreed that I wasn\u2019t fit to care for them, but I also loved them and wanted to have them in my home. I fully expected them to go to a new foster home, and I felt peace about either outcome of this meeting. Somehow Jesus intervened in His sovereignty during that meeting, and He kept the girls in my home. It wasn\u2019t rainbows and butterflies after that, but I had a whole new sense of God\u2019s sovereignty.<\/p>\n

I knew this was a story God was writing. I don\u2019t have any control in this, and that\u2019s right where I needed to be because I\u2019ll tell you right now my family wouldn\u2019t look this way if I had been the author of this story. This is a much better story than I could have ever imagined.<\/p>\n

These girls taught me a lot about myself. I wasn\u2019t the amazing, patient mother I thought I would be. I had so many emotions. I didn\u2019t know how to handle them, and I felt guilty all the time about everything.<\/p>\n

Sadie never had the \u2018honeymoon period\u2019 a lot of foster kids have when placed into a foster home. She would throw fits every time I put her down to bed. Hours-long fits. They were exhausting, and I just needed time to myself at night. It would take me hours to get her to sleep every night. She threw fits at every appointment we went to. She threw extra fits for 2 days after every visit, which were weekly. She constantly was screaming, and I often lost my cool. I would slam my door or yell in my frustration or hide in my bathroom and just cry. It was just so much all the time, and I had not learned good coping skills myself.<\/p>\n

Motherhood is hard, and at the urging of my girls\u2019 therapist, I got my own therapist. I am a very prideful person, and I hate saying I need help, but I needed help. I needed to work through stuff from my past so I could move forward and better myself as a person and therefore as a mom for my girls. Therapy and mental\/emotional health have been a taboo topic for so long, and I bought into that. Then I just surrendered to the fact that I needed help, and there was nothing shameful in admitting that. That\u2019s actually a sign of strength.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Every yes I\u2019ve made in foster care including the initial one has been questioned and, at times, discouraged. I\u2019ve been informed by others of all the reasons why I shouldn\u2019t and couldn\u2019t, but God called me to this.<\/p>\n

I was told I didn\u2019t have enough support because I didn\u2019t have enough family in the area. I was told I shouldn\u2019t do foster care without a husband because it was too hard to do on my own. I was told I should just focus on my ministry of being a teacher and reach those kids instead. I was told foster care was too hard and complicated for me to tackle alone. I was told I would never get married because this life is too much.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I laid my \u2018yes\u2019 at the feet of Jesus, and He has always been faithful. In my darkest hours, He\u2019s been there. In those moments my fears were overtaking me, He\u2019s been there. In the meeting where the caseworker was questioning whether or not I was enough for my girls, He was there. He has and always will be faithful. His sovereignty has nothing to do with my ability. His grace was all-sufficient because my weaknesses were abundant. I have nothing to offer my girls, but Jesus uses my broken vessel to love them well.<\/p>\n

Time after time after time, God has been faithful to show up. He\u2019s never called me to a place of surrender that He\u2019s abandoned me. Just 2.5 years after I first brought home my oldest 2 girls, I was called to take my (already adopted) daughter\u2019s biological sister who had just been born. At that time, I had a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old, a 20-month-old, and a 4-month-old.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Honestly, I don\u2019t know how or why God asked me to take so many, but I do know God moved in so many ways so specifically for each individual child to be in my home that I don\u2019t doubt each of these girls were meant to be my daughters.<\/p>\n

I sobbed on the phone to the CPS worker, \u2018I know what my answer needs to be, but it\u2019s going to be so hard!\u2019 Siblings have the right to be kept together if at all possible. I wasn\u2019t about to put myself and my needs in the way of that. I will sacrifice everything I have to preserve their families in any way possible. I am honored to have the privilege to have connections to Nora and Lucy\u2019s older siblings, who are living with grandparents or on their own.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I went into major nesting mode. I immediately started making calls to get the clothes and equipment needed to bring her home. Within 24 hours of getting that call, I had a crib, a car seat, and all the clothes I needed for her.<\/p>\n

I hear this a lot, \u2018I don\u2019t know how you do it.\u2019 You know what? Neither do I. Because it is not me who does it. It\u2019s all Jesus. Every step of the way, it\u2019s because of Jesus.<\/p>\n

And I won\u2019t sugar coat it. There\u2019s a lot of the day to day things that just suck. There are heavy burdens Jesus has asked me to carry through this journey, but I\u2019ve never done it alone. Never once did He leave me stranded. There were times I felt alone and forgotten. Those were really dark moments, sometimes those moments turned into days and weeks. But Jesus always showed up in ways that looking back, I could see that He never left me. He was there moving His unseen hand.<\/p>\n

I once had someone tell me that they were disappointed in me because I wasn\u2019t on the mission field like I said was going to be. Their words hurt me, but God made it very clear. I am in my mission field. Foster care is my mission field. I\u2019m not called to rescue all of the children, but I am called to be a light in the darkness. Foster care is full of spiritual warfare not only in the biological families, but the caseworkers, the supervisors, the placement team, the attorneys, the judges, and the foster homes. This is God\u2019s work. It\u2019s heavy and hard. It will break you. You will not walk through foster care without earning your battle scars.<\/p>\n

But there\u2019s beauty in all of this because of God\u2019s sovereignty. In those moments where I thought I couldn\u2019t go on, I had to throw my hands up in a Jesus-take-the-wheel type of situation and trust He knew what going on. With each of my 5 girls, I have seen God move in big ways. Each of my girls\u2019 stories has God-sized details, and He\u2019s used people like my caseworker, Kim Harvey, and my church in unique ways. Kim has had a huge part in each of my girls\u2019 stories and how they came to me. She advocated for me, supported me, and encouraged me every step of the way. My church has supported me by bringing me diapers and meals and Christmas gifts, and many of the church people have helped me out with babysitting and respite.<\/p>\n

Right now, we are in a sweet spot of life. I have all 5 of my girls adopted \u2013 Ava Grace, Sadie Faith, Nora Hope, Mia Truth, and Lucy Love. These girls are my world. We are just living our best lives right now enjoying the slower pace of life that came with the pandemic and with closing our home to DCS placements after the last adoption in February.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m looking forward to seeing what else God has for us in the future as I have a few opportunities opening up in sharing our story. We started homeschooling this year, so we are busy with that and all their therapies each week. I\u2019m just not rushing into the next stage of life just yet. We\u2019re enjoying this time of peace as we rest from the busyness that DCS required. I\u2019m in love with the life God\u2019s given me. I could not have written a better story, but Jesus is still working and moving in our lives. I\u2019m excited about the next step whenever it is, whatever it is, and wherever it takes us. Jesus has done some wild things in the past, and I\u2019m here for whatever comes next.\u201d<\/p>\n

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