Men do not seem to be able to learn from experience as to which phrases simply will never fail to piss a girl off. I understand that it’s not too easy to comprehend, considering the realm of the insult is eons larger in the eyes of a women than that of a man.<\/p>\n
Still, there are certain things men just should know not to utter in any situation because of the way the tragically twisted female mind will interpret what was said and react as if it was the most demeaning, personal offense.<\/p>\n
Some guys really know what they\u2019re doing and can speak with poise and grace in a way that you didn\u2019t think was possible. Others are just plain dumb as to what will evoke more self-afflicting thoughts and dramatic conversations than they ever could have imagined. What ever could have possessed you to say any of the things you just said? Do you want to start a fight?<\/p>\n
Regardless of whether you had good intentions or not, something are just better left unsaid, especially when speaking to a female, because let\u2019s face it, women are insane and will twist anything slightly negative you have to say against you.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou Look Skinny.\u201d<\/p>\n
I know, guys. You really meant to pay that woman a compliment. All girls do is eat as little as possible to achieve a Karlie Kloss-esque body, and you felt that telling her that she looked skinny would make her day. It should make her day, but all females have this little thing wrong with them called \u201cinsecurity\u201d.<\/p>\n
The second you tell a woman she looks skinny, she will automatically go back and think, \u201cThat must mean that at some point he thought I looked fat. Great, I\u2019m disgusting and he knows I\u2019m disgusting, and I\u2019m not speaking to him ever again.\u201d It\u2019s completely chemically imbalanced and wrong on the woman\u2019s part, but just agree to never utter those words. You\u2019ll thank me someday.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou sound just like your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n
This is obviously meant to be a dig. If you\u2019re telling me I sound like my mother it’s most likely due to the fact that I am really just acting like your mother instead. This is going to upset me because I will then realize that I am acting like your mom and really shouldn\u2019t be doing that (major girlfriend don\u2019t ladies, but hey, we\u2019re only human). Instead of saying \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d and moving on from that phase, females obviously are going to get upset and turn the tables around on you. Because it can never be easy, and women always have to have the last word, don\u2019t they?<\/p>\n
\u201cRelax.\u201d<\/p>\n
I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if someone told me that a man telling a woman to relax started all major world wars. Most women will tell you \u201cI am relaxed when he says relax\u201d blah, blah, blah. I\u2019ll be honest with you and admit it: of course I\u2019m not fucking relaxed, you clearly sense my tension which was most likely brought on by something you did.<\/p>\n
Telling a girl to relax is the equivalent of saying \u201cI don\u2019t give a shit about one thing you\u2019re saying and would really like you to stop talking, but I\u2019m missing enough brain cells to not realize that I just put myself in a deep hole by saying \u2018relax\u2019 and am now in for more unwanted tension and uptight drama than before. Fuck.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t care, it doesn\u2019t matter to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
To me, nothing is more infuriating than indecisiveness. If we\u2019re working together to make plans for the night and you\u2019re too busy doing whatever you\u2019re doing to choose a place to eat, if I throw out a few suggestions, the last thing out of your mouth should be \u201cI don\u2019t care, it doesn\u2019t matter to me.\u201d If you make the fatal mistake of uttering these unintentionally offensive words, I\u2019m probably going to throw the nearest object that won\u2019t kill you in your general direction.<\/p>\n
Because chances are you do care. It\u2019s very rare to find a guy who will eat whatever you will. Let me rephrase that: guys should be able to eat whatever, whenever (isn\u2019t that a stereotype or something?) but if you\u2019re going to be indecisive about what you want and not help me out in the slightest, I\u2019m dragging you to my favorite sashimi restaurant and you\u2019re going to be eating raw fish with me all night. If you\u2019re down with that though, I\u2019m down with you, and I retract everything I just said.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy ex used to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Before you finish that sentence let me just cut you off and tell you that I earnestly do not give a fuck what your ex used to do. Even if you were just about to bash her, there\u2019s a reason why she is your ex, so just leave her in the past. This isn\u2019t even about being an insecure female who can\u2019t handle hearing about another woman. Speaking about your ex-girlfriend to your current girlfriend (or whatever that girl you\u2019re spending time with is to you) is irrelevant to whatever you\u2019re doing right now. Learn to let go or learn to let me go, and I promise you, you most definitely don\u2019t want to do that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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