{"id":1025,"date":"2025-10-08T16:47:49","date_gmt":"2025-10-08T16:47:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=1025"},"modified":"2025-10-08T16:47:49","modified_gmt":"2025-10-08T16:47:49","slug":"are-those-really-your-brothers-and-sisters-she-doesnt-miss-a-beat-and-proud-as-can-be-responds-yes-couple-adopt-3-babies-from-foster-care-my","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/storieshub.xyz\/?p=1025","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Are those REALLY your brothers and sisters?\u2019 She doesn\u2019t miss a beat and proud as can be responds, \u2018YES!\u2019: Couple adopt 3 babies from foster care, \u2018My house is crazy and so full of love\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cWe met in 2007. It was the tail end of spring and I had just graduated nursing school. A girlfriend of mine asked me to go out to a bar with her. She also told me our mutual friend would be there with a guy friend who they wanted me to meet. I didn\u2019t have high hopes, but I wanted to go out and have a fun night, so I went.<\/p>\n

As soon as we walked in, our friend found us and introduced me to him. It was like that moment in the movies when time stands still. I told him it was nice to meet him, then I looked directly at my friend and said, \u2018I think I love him.\u2019 It was from that moment on that we were inseparable.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

From the very beginning of our relationship we were on the same page about our future. We both wanted to get married and have babies. He was one of 7 children and I was an only child, so we compromised and wanted 3 children of our own. We also talked about one day wanting to adopt.<\/p>\n

In October of the following year, we stood barefoot and got married in front of the ocean. We were surrounded by 16 of our closest friends and family. We then honeymooned in the Bahamas before having to come back home to the real world.<\/p>\n

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I was working as a nurse in the mother baby unit at our local hospital so I was surrounded by sweet cuddly newborns on a daily basis. I had baby fever and we didn\u2019t waste time trying. I just knew we would get pregnant quickly. I mean, how hard could it be?<\/p>\n

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The first few months weren\u2019t successful but at first I wasn\u2019t discouraged. Maybe we just needed a little more time? But month after month of negative pregnancy tests eventually started to devastate me. I\u2019m sure I was just hypersensitive at the time, but it seemed that everywhere I looked, I was surrounded by pregnant women.<\/p>\n

After a full calendar year of trying, my OB sent us to a reproductive endocrinologist. Since fertility treatments weren\u2019t covered under our insurance, there was little we could financially do out of pocket. This just added more stress to an already stressful situation.<\/p>\n

We continued to try for another 2 years with negative pregnancy tests month after month. I remember being so incredibly angry day in and day out. The bitterness consumed me. When I would get an invitation to a baby shower I would cry for days leading up to it, but still make myself go and put on a fake smile, only to come home and cry myself to sleep. I was angry at my friends and coworkers who got pregnant. I took it personal, like they were so inconsiderate to me by being happy in front of my face. I look back now and see how irrational my thought process was, but that\u2019s where I was at the time.<\/p>\n

Now, remember I worked on a unit surrounded by newly delivered babies and their over the moon mamas. Patients would always ask me if I had any children. I would just smile and say no. Often I would get the question, \u2018So, do you just not want kids?\u2019 and my heart would sink because I would have to lie. I would lie and tell them we just weren\u2019t ready yet, but here soon we\u2019d start trying. Because no one wants to hear their nurse say, \u2018We can\u2019t have babies. We\u2019ve tried for years and spent more days than I\u2019d like to count crying about it.\u2019 So I would lie.<\/p>\n

In the 3 years we were trying, we talked a lot about our options. We could afford some simple fertility treatments (which were still costing us and arm and a leg), but nothing more. We just simply didn\u2019t have the money to do IVF or a private adoption. We talked numerous times about foster care, but wanted to wait just a little bit longer before starting that journey.<\/p>\n

We used the extra bit of money we\u2019d saved up for oral medications and injections, prayed, and attempted an IUI (intrauterine insemination). 2 weeks later the office did blood work and told me they\u2019d call me in 48 hours (which was the longest 48 hours of my life).<\/p>\n

I remember getting the call while I was at work and I was afraid to answer my phone. I could not mentally handle more disappointment. But I did answer, and it was one of the best phone calls of my life. We were finally pregnant! I remember going home at the end of my shift and crying. 3 years, month after month of tears, and now here we were. It was real! When I now went to work and patients would ask me if I had any kids, I could finally say yes. I didn\u2019t have to lie anymore. This was a dream come true.<\/p>\n

I had an uneventful pregnancy and in July of 2010 I delivered the most perfect red-headed baby girl. She was the answer to so many prayers.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

When she hit 1 years old, we started discussing getting pregnant again. We knew it took so long for her and didn\u2019t want it to take as long for another pregnancy. My reproductive endocrinologist assured me more than likely that wouldn\u2019t be the case. She said once your body gets pregnant it tends to be easier for subsequent pregnancies.<\/p>\n

Apparently not in my case.<\/p>\n

I could feel the bitterness and anger coming back from that ugly place again. We tried treatment after treatment with no luck. I remember leaving the endocrinologist office and my sister in law called me to tell me she was pregnant. I had just attempted another IUI and had all these visions of us having our babies at the same time. Then 2 weeks later when I started my period I was devastated. Sitting through her announcements, and baby shower, thinking how I wanted it to be me wasn\u2019t easy. More friends and family became pregnant, more baby showers to endure. More comments like, \u2018If you just relax it\u2019ll happen.\u2019 I also felt guilty for being angry we couldn\u2019t get pregnant again. I didn\u2019t want people to see me as ungrateful and selfish. I was so incredibly grateful for her, I just wanted more than anything for her to have siblings. I had this mental image of our big family on vacations. I just wasn\u2019t ready for the universe to say NO MORE.<\/p>\n

Our daughter was 3 and mentally I was done. Something clicked in my head. I couldn\u2019t continue to cry month after month over this anymore. I was so wrapped up in the world of infertility, it was making me feel crazy. We were standing in the kitchen and we both had that AHA moment. Foster care. It was time. Too many children in our own state, city, neighborhood that needed loving safe homes. There are roughly 400,000 children in the foster care system. We went to the informational meeting and knew this is where we\u2019re supposed to be. We did 8 weeks of classes, filled out mounds of paperwork, were fingerprinted, and had background checks run on us. We were officially certified and then we had to wait. The waiting I was definitely used to.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I got the first call when I was at the library with my daughter. The social worker said she had an African American 5-year-old little girl and her 14-month-old brother that needed placement and were we interested. The little girl was close to my daughter\u2019s age so I said yes! The social worker brought them over within the hour.<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/p>\n

In the foster care classes, they always want you to remember that reunification with the biological family is always the goal of foster care. That\u2019s another hard pill to swallow when you take care of these children day in and day out. The siblings had different fathers, and after a full year of being with us, the little girl went back to live with her paternal family. I was so happy for her, but yet felt sad for our loss. We still had our little boy, but the social worker was still trying to get extended family to take him.<\/p>\n

Then, in November we got another call for an African American 6-week-old little girl. She was in the local children\u2019s hospital and was about ready to be discharged into care. We didn\u2019t know much about her but said we would take her. 3 months later we found out mom was pregnant again and we would be getting this new baby as well.<\/p>\n

As of October 2018, all 3 of our children were officially adopted!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

In what I feel was a very short amount of time, we went from a Party of 3 to a Party of 6. It\u2019s not often these days that you see a family with 4 kids. Especially kids who (at one point) were 7, 3, 2, and 1. And especially a family where you have 3 African American children and 1 fair skinned redhead.<\/p>\n

People look, A LOT. But you get to the point where you don\u2019t notice it as much anymore. I think I had forgotten how special and unique our family was until we had our family vacation in Florida. The whole week people would see us walking places and start looking worried. They would start looking all around, panicked. They were looking for their parents. We would have to say time and time again that they are our children. I\u2019ve started to notice my oldest daughter\u2019s classmates will have questions. When they see us out they look confused and say, \u2018Are those really your brothers and sisters?\u2019 And she doesn\u2019t miss a beat and just as proud as can be will respond with a YES!<\/p>\n

I think people are just genuinely curious, but some can be rude. People will ask me where they came from. I try to not give them my \u2018are you being serious right now\u2019 glare and just kindly respond they came from foster care, in our own town. They\u2019ll ask me how much I paid for them, which I think is an odd question to ask someone, but it\u2019s perfect because it lets me tell the world that children adopted from foster care are FREE.<\/p>\n

Foster care is not always butterflies and rainbows. We\u2019ve had children come to us, then get returned to their biological family. Sometimes you agree with the Judge\u2019s decisions and sometimes you don\u2019t. There is stress and tears involved, but also some amazing times and memories. I often hear comments such as, \u2018Wow, you\u2019re such an angel\u2019 and, \u2018There\u2019s no way I could do what you do.\u2019 And the one that gets me the most: \u2018There\u2019s no way I could do it. I would get too attached.\u2019 I always tell people that you DO get attached and that\u2019s the point. You are the safe landing place for these children. You can give them love that they may have never felt before. And in the end it\u2019s not about us and how we feel, it\u2019s about the children.<\/p>\n

I absolutely adore all 4 of my children and love them all equally. It\u2019s hard to remember that time when I felt so empty and so angry. My house is crazy, but it\u2019s so full of love. Every now and then I think what it would be like to have another biological baby, but then I think had we done that we wouldn\u2019t have went on our path and been blessed with our crew. In that time when I thought I would be childless forever, I never imagined my life just a few years into the future.<\/p>\n

Your babies may not always come to you the way you imagined, but they will come to you in the way they\u2019re meant to.\u201d<\/p>\n

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